Why I Reject “Biblical” Patriarchy
Try as I may, I can’t seem to escape the topic of “biblical” Patriarchy. Since I’ve learned about it (and its root in the heresy of Eternal Subordination of the Son), I can’t help but see how this movement has crept in unaware to many circles. I have seen devastatingly bad fruit (Matthew 7:17) it’s produced in the lives of those I love. The last time I wrote about this topic I barely scratched the surface and didn’t do it justice, so I’m revisiting it now.
The Patriarchy movement emphasizes male headship in the home and society, that all men should rule over all women, and excessively limit the capacity in which women may participate in church. Okay, let’s break it down.
Eternal Subordination of the Son (ESS)
This ancient heresy places Jesus as eternally subordinate, and therefore *submissive* to the Father, rather than acknowledge their equal status in the Trinity. The perfect relational harmony that exists within the Trinity, not the hierarchical view that ESS presents, models the same preferential, honoring love we see prescribed in Ephesians 5.
Communion
Patriarchal circles are known for excessively limiting the capacity in which women may participate in church. I affirm that only men may be pastors and elders (1 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9), but they take this concept many steps further. In some churches, particularly among Family Integrated Churches (FIC), only men may approach the Lord’s Table for communion and then disperse that to their believing family members. If the father isn’t present, the responsibility then falls to the oldest son and so forth. This practice wrongly puts men (and boys) as the mediators between God and women/children, instead of Jesus. In Christ, there is neither male nor female (Gal3:28). There is only one mediator, and He is the man Christ Jesus.
Excessive Limits
Beyond this, women are often not allowed to read Scripture, pray, or speak while men are present. This goes beyond the bounds of Scripture. Some argue that 1 Corinthians 14:34–35 means that women literally should never speak in worship services, but that interpretation directly contradicts 1 Corinthians 11:5 which gives instructions for how women should pray and prophesy in an orderly manner. In context, the instruction to be silent is in relation to the specific meaning of verse 29 which gives instructions for hearing and testing prophecies.
Patriarchy’s Faulty Foundation
In Genesis 3, after sin entered the world, God tells Adam and Eve what life is going to be like under the curse of it. In verse 16 he tells Eve, “Your desire will be for your husband, and he shall rule over you (NASB).”
The way I’ve always heard this taught is that all women everywhere will now have a sinful desire to usurp power and authority from men, but men will have to, essentially, put them back in their place. However, that’s classic eisegesis, inserting a belief into the text that simply isn’t there.
I would argue the text doesn’t say that at all. Not even close. Rather, the most honest reading of this text is that women will desire intimacy and closeness with their husbands (think Eden before the Fall), but he will now tend toward a domineering, authoritarian nature.
So husbands ruling over their wives is not, like you may have been taught, a prescription for husband/wife interaction, but a description of how life will be harder in this new fallen world. Patriarchy is built upon this faulty foundation.
Husbands as Head
Now of course, we see other places in Scripture that the husband is head of the wife (1 Corinthians 11:3, 8-9; Ephesians 5:23). The Ephesians 5 passage is often twisted to be about power and authority rather than what the text really says. The kind of headship here is that of Christ’s headship with the Church: leading, sanctifying, cherishing, etc. not squashing as enemy underfoot (Ephesians 5:25-30). Christ’s model is one of sacrificial, servant-based leadership that pursues the heart.
As I said in my previous blog post, if a husband desires to win his wife’s heart, he must be gentle and kind (Galatians 5:22-23), drawing her in with selfless and sacrificial love.
Likewise, wives are to submit – or yield – to their husbands’ leadership and pursuit. It is not a patriarchal rule that wins a wife’s heart, but Spirit-led, servant-hearted pursuit that cultivates a desire for willing submission in her heart. This gospel – and this marriage – is beautiful. It encapsulates the often-overlooked Ephesians 5:21 which says, “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Biblical submission is mutual. I pray this message is found to be edifying and freeing. That is my aim: to write for the glory of God and the edification of the saints.
