Wives are Not Cheerleaders
I have heard it said in some Christian circles that wives are to be their husbands’ biggest cheerleaders. To an extent, I can agree. It’s a wonderful thing to encourage your spouse but within reason.
Cheerleaders cheer regardless of how well the team plays. They recite cheers and try to keep spirits high, no matter how bad things may be.
God created women as helpers to mirror how Holy Spirit - the ultimate Helper - operates. Imagine if we were only ever cheered on and encouraged by Holy Spirit, but never quickened, corrected, or convicted? Well, that’s a ludicrous thought! He wouldn’t be Himself without these traits.
I can think of few worse things for the human ego than constant, unquestioning encouragement. The kind of praise that descends into misplaced worship. This praise becomes fodder to fuel the narcissist.
If wives only ever agree with and obey their husbands, they miss out on God-given opportunities to righteously oppose them for the glory of God and their edification.
Consider the story of Abigail and Nabal from 1 Samuel 25, and how in her highly patriarchal context she directly disobeyed her husband. His folly was bound to bring destruction to himself and his entire household. But because she interfered, many lives were spared.
““Now the name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. The woman was discerning and beautiful, but the man was harsh and badly behaved...””
Imagine if she had defended him to the end. Followed and obeyed and cheered him on until David and the mighty men slayed his whole household. Imagine if she unleashed her rage by shouting at and shunning the servant who brought word. What then? Was she a good wife? Was she walking in wisdom? No! At that point she would have been an enabler, helping him continue on the path leading to destruction.
But praise God it doesn’t have to be that way - and praise God it wasn’t that way for Abigail. She walked in wisdom, she respected and honored God more than her husband. She acted as a servant of God before a wife.
Imagine how much stronger Christian homes and churches would be if more Christian women walked confidently as followers of Christ before wives. If more women were empowered as individual servants of the Most High God, finding their satisfaction and purpose in Him ahead of being a wife or mom or any other secondary calling.
This is my passion - to help women grow as followers of Christ first, then all the other stuff will fall into place (Matthew 6:33). Because no matter your circumstances, God has primarily called you to Himself. We must seek Him first.
